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Self-Depreciation Alley


Precise1
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I know that every time I work on my pathy, I manage to smash my hand into something while removing a nut or bolt. There was blood on my rim after that brake job!

 

While I was doing my passenger side brakes, I went to remove the caliper bracket bolts. Those suckers were on TIGHT, so my grandfather gave me a long wrench to use. I pushed on it with nearly all the force I had. When it did break loose, it sent my hand right into the driveway leaving my knuckles covered in blood.

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never use your pinky finger to line up the leaf spring eyelet with the shackle. and especially don't tap the leaf spring with a hammer to give it some motivation, when your finger is inside the little hole. luckily, i still have all 10 fingers.

 

Maybe you should invest in some alignment punches.

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As I mentioned in off topic, I swapped v10 engines in my sooperdoodie. For those who have not seen one of these, I think the 3.0 from our pathies would fit in the valley under the intake manifold. This sucker is f'ing IMMENSE. Bigger than any big block I've played with. I really should take pictures of the old block next to the 3.0 block I have. David and Goliath....

 

Anyways, it is equally heavy. All tools and equipment stressed to the max....

 

 

 

And I, well, I came out completely unscathed. Can't explain it.... A couple bruises and barked knuckles, but nothing requiring stitches, transfusions, setting, CAT scans, or rectal probes. Total freak event! My wife remains in disbelief.

 

 

 

Although I did lay my arm on the propane radiant heater and burned the crap out of it.... At least the scar looks something like a sailboat....

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Dammit Martin, I was expecting another coffee ejecting, floor rolling laughter from your latest story. Though I am glad you were able to perform the swap without serious injury, I do miss your self-deprecating story telling abilities. :lol::beer:

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Aha, I have a stupid dee dee dee one!

 

I locked my keys in my truck. Ok...

 

So my method of getting them was to somehiow pop the seals on the quarter wing window and reach in and unlock the door.

 

Well, at this time I thought the window was only held in by pressure seals on the pivot mounts and what not.

 

So I take the smallest flat head I have, and I gently push it into the rubber circle in the lower corner of the window that attaches it, and started to pry a tiny bit...

...

 

 

...

 

BOOM!

 

The window completely explodes, sending glass flying EVERYWHERE. So after a few stunned seconds of me standing there, next to my truck, looking at the screw driver and to where the window was and back at the screw driver...I suddenly become self conscious and look around.

 

I see the neighbor laughing his ass off, about to fall over in the lawn.

 

I'm blushing by this time for sure.

 

Man I felt so stupid...so now that little window has a blue tint to it :aok:

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Blue tint helps you from feeling so stupid? Reminds you of it? :shrug:

 

*lost*

 

B

 

Most of the time I see the window I feel stupid because I remember what happened.

 

Since the rest of my tint is the black/bronze color, it looks funky

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Next time make a loop at the end of a hanger and slide it down from the top back corner of the door and hook the pop-up and pull.

 

Yeah, I thought about that afterwords.

 

This was like 2 months after I bought the thing and pretty much knew nothing about it

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Can I share one about my Aunt? Well even if I can't I'm still going to...

 

So we were up in the mountains shooting yesterday, and after a while we all got cold and stood around the fire. My Aunt Kristi's dog, Daisy -golden lab- loves big ol' honkin sticks, practically little logs.

 

My dad's truck is to the left of us, and where she was intending to throw it was straight ahead somewhat to the right in the big snowy area. She goes to throw this big honkin' "stick" for Daisy, and does the girly sidearm throw...but hangs on a little too long. Lmao. It leaves her hand and goes left up in the air, and at this point me, my uncle Jerry, Kenny, Jane and Aunt Kristi all go "oh @!*%!" (Aunt Kristi cover's her face) We watch as it sails through the air and SLAMS on the hood of my dads truck with a loud BANG and screech and bounce off.

 

My dad at the time is 20-30 feet away from us loading a gun, and I head him shout "WAS THAT MY TRUCK?!"

And we're all like "yuuupppp!"

My Aunt Kristi was like "ohhh my Goddd I'm soooo sorry!!!!" And we're all laughing our asses off. It was hilarious.

 

Then Kenny said "well now you all see why I parked my truck on the OTHER side of Tommy?" and it made us laugh even more.

 

Then, a few seconds later, Daisy comes back with the "stick" in her mouth waggin' her tail, thinking "DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

 

So now she's not allowed to throw a stick anymore. Ever.

And she's never going to live that one down... :D

 

Can't really see the damage (long scratch and little impressions) but since I know what I'm looking for I can see it

truck.jpg

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  • 1 month later...

well I didnt get run over or any thing but I did get hit by a rather large280 pound retired state trooper.

This is how it happen.Last summer my girlfreind(whos farther is the guy from above) wants to go off roading. Well we go "off-roading" then we go OFF-ROADING(if y'all know what I mean).Well pretty soon a Big ol' tahoe pulls in next to us.Shes like thats my dad?! I'm like @!*% jump in the front seat of the pathy and go like hell. I'm like going down a 2 track at 50mph thinking s%^& when I see a rather large Suv with high beams flashing chasing me. So I come to the end of the road which is at a top of a hill and vear right in to a rather wet farmers field(it wasnt planeted by the way so it was all mud) My Road Runner tires are pretty good so I spin only a little but dont get stuck.So I'm being followed around a mud pit by a Tahoe with street tires and open diffs.He Gets stuck about half away around the second pass.I'm going pretty good so I decide to piss him off a little by going for another pass around the field.This is where things go bad.I hit a washed out area and sink.I dont mean just get stuck I sank down about a foot in muck.So I put my window down to see what it looks like.I see it doest look so bad so I shift in to 4 wheel and reverse and gun it.This is when I notice a large shadow comeing up across back window.So the next thing I know I'm being dragged out my window(I'm 5'11 at 140 so I'm a little dude) and being punched in the back and face as I'm being dragged through mud. Now after about a minute of being beat I like anuff A-hole and start fighting back.This is when I find out he wasnt hitting me full force.Bang I go down.Then I back up and call him a A-hole again(All the while his daughters yelling at him to stop)He yells at her to STFU and I'm back up again.I see him coming at me again But I have a plain.Thats right a ball shot I get him with and a really good upper cut(I broke my middle finger with it.) So now hes on the ground mouning and I'm like lets get the hell outta here.So we hope in the truck and go about getting unstuck.I take her home then go home myself.

About a week later I see her farther in wal-mart and he's pissed. But doesnt do any thing,Thank God!

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she was worth it but I think next time I'm going stop when I'm ahead so I'm not walking around my house for a week like a 80 year old(read hunched over and kinda drooling since I couldnt keep my mouth shut(my face was that puffy)

But I got another one.It wasnt me driver but I was in the truck.

Ok my buddy J and I where coming back from a party in his old 1982 flat bed chevy.Wheel where going down 61 ok until we get to the over pass that goes over I-35.Now this is a strange area since 61 turns sharply on and goes south on the same side that 35 goes north(you know whats going happen ) So Jordon turns done what we both think is 61(its not) and before where at the end of the embankment where both like man those head lights lookk pretty close?This is when we both see the DO NOT ENTER signs.Well J standes on the brakes And throws it in reverse.This is when a newer Dodge Ram decides to exit the free way.Well this guy is now 6 inchs off of the front bumper,high beams on with the horn blaring.I'm speach less thinking this is it I'm going to die from getting hit from a doggy dodge.The 350 is snarling as we come fly out backwards on to 61,we rockford,J just grabes a gear (no idea which one all he does is pull down on the column)and where off again back on 61 and heading home.

This didnt really teach us any thing other then to watch more closly what road your on and that 350s dont move that good in big heavy trucks with open diffs.It now as a 71 chevvelle ss 402 in it with a lil ' bit off work :rolleyes: done to it.

Edited by nismothunder
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  • 3 months later...

It's been a while since one of us contributed something to this thread. I have yet to contribute so I'm thinking now's as best a time as any. Here goes! :D

 

This past weekend, I was near Gimli (about 45 mins north of Winnipeg) camping with my gf and her cousins. I also brought my sister and her bf along. The gf and her cousins had been out there since Friday but I headed out there Saturday evening after work. We arrived just in time to set up camp and eat supper.

 

After supper, the partying began. Early on, my beer drinking was in can form and thus, pretty normal. Then came out the fabled "beer stick", a large syringe that could hold beer. :lol:

 

Here's a visual aid of my third round on the beer stick.

 

DSC07476.jpg

 

For the most part, I kept it to strictly beer. After losing count and passing the point of no return, I apparently came up with the idea to put boilermakers in the beer stick. Bad idea.

 

The events which followed my beer-sticking of boilermakers are none too clear. What I do recall was running through the bush at full bore and losing my right shoe in a creek, running around stealthily (I used the term very loosely) trying to avoid the campground patrols and returning to camp only to pass out in my tent with one shoe, my hoody with a huge tear at the elbow and filthy jeans.

 

At some point, I must have landed face-first in poison ivy. It didn't show up until late Sunday night, much to my hungover chagrin. Here's a shot I took recently of my left cheek, ear and neck area.

 

DSC07482.jpg

 

I figured out why my hoody had a tear at the elbow. I obviously wiped out at some point while running around camp in a drunken stupor.

 

DSC07483.jpg

 

My gf ended up finding my shoe, stuck in the mud along the creek. Aside from the torn hoody, I guess it's fair to say I came out relatively unscathed.

 

The poison ivy to the face is really irritating, though. :lol:

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I remember last time I got to the stage that I was "I'm invinsible" drunk (had something to do with some cheap and nasty port), same as you, camping. I ended up charging down a hill, full speed, managed to hurdle the first campsite fence, started to stumble a bit approaching the second, so I ended up diving into a commando roll under the fence, sprang back to my feet still at full pace and kept running. The guys I was with ended up pulling up, gobsmacked that I didnt end up breaking something.

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