Less talk more action. Get a battery and stop making excuses. You can get used ones from the junkyard for cheap or on craigslist. Grab oil n filters from the store. Don't worry about the tires and tranny fluid yet. Get it running and speed screw some metal over those holes to pass inspection. No offense but every time you post its some sob story. The brakes will clear themselves of rust after driving. You can use lysol to clean the interior and rent or borrow a carpet cleaner for the seats.
I'm not trying to be mean but all I see is "I need to do this, but..." you say its raining but its in a garage? I don't get it