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What was phase 2?


mws
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Another beautiful friend lost to cancer.... ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

 

 

I am so, so very tired of it. Too many, too much pain, too unfair.

 

Grab those you love and give them an extra hug for me, OK?

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I've never seen a dead beat taken by an illness like that. What's that song "Only the good die young" Nothing I say is gonna help ya. We have to make the most of the time we have.

 

My sig seems a little in bad taste in this thread. :hide::nono:

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Sorry for the loss. It seems like nobody knows how important family/friends really are until they are gone :(

:clap: well said indeed.

 

my sympathies martin, i know how much it sucks. chin up.

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Thank you all for the kind words. It is appreciated.

 

Moving on into acceptance... After too much practice, I seem to be getting good at that.

I am very thankful it spared her until her girls turned 18 and started college.

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My life has been interesting. I was unbelievably blessed and did not lose anyone close to me for the first 30 years of my life. A couple grandparents, but they were in Germany and I had only met them twice.

 

But since then, it's been the opposite. I can't think of a single year when I wasn't impacted by cancer. My mentor, my colleague, several co-workers, one of my best friends, several other good friends. I've lost count of how many I've lost.

 

On the positive, both of my parents fought and won. Strange, that. My colleague was one of the most fit, healthy, strong men I knew. Taken down in only 6 months at age 36. My father, in very poor health, survived lung and 3 rounds of skin cancer. He was in the middle of battling squamous cell cancer in his soft palate when he died, but he was winning round 5 of the cancer battle.

 

Another friend was given 6 months back in 1993. She is still with us - although it does tend to flare up every couple years, and then goes away again.

 

Hard to make sense of it all.

 

But I do know this:

 

I live every day as if it is a precious gift.

I WILL NOT postpone my life or happiness for a time when it will be more convenient. I may not get to get there.

Every single one has left something behind with me, and I carry their legacy proudly and try to pass on what they have given and taught me to others. Wisdom. Patience. Compassion. Drive. Empathy. The more I give, the more it grows.

 

My frequent question to myself:

 

If I was to find out I have 10 days to live, what would I regret?

 

If it is something I didn't do, I start taking steps immediately to get it done.

If it is something I did, I try to make amends, and I commit to never repeating it.

 

Way off topic, and I apologize if it is too deep. But what I have gone through has to be for a reason. And it has been. I am a better person for it. If I can also redirect some of my pain and loss into helping others find the peace and happiness in life that I have found, then it is worth the effort to type these words.

 

Peace, all.

:)

Edited by mws
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