Dowser Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Evening all. I pulled a classic idiot move today. My Family came down from the Niagara Area today and arrived at about 11:30 am to celebrate my Birthday tomorrow. Yay yay, I know. Just another Birthday so shush. At any rate, they drive for 4 and half hours to come up and see me and they had to leave at around 6:00 pm since my Sisters boyfriend has to work early the next morning. Let me give you a quick summary of the day once they arrived. They come in, We chit chat for a bit, I open some presents, talk a little more, have a quick little lunch, they I say, "Lets head out and look at a set of Falls that aren't too far from here." Off we go down Highway 1 toward Haliburton to check them out. Since there are 5 of us, and we have 2 dogs, I take my Pathy with my Sisters Boyfriend and the 2 Dogs in the back. My Girlfriend, Sister and Mother head in the other car. We get there, Check them out, Walk around, Snap some photo's blah blah blah. This whole thing starts to get me itching to do a little wheeling. So I say to My Sisters Boyfriend on the way back to the house. "You know, If I get a good lead on them, Maybe I can show you a quick little trail thats close to my house. It's a super Easy one and you'll like it." He specifically says to me. "Ummm. Sure. We're not gonna get stuck or anything are we. Cause if it's even a chance I don't really want to go." Being the over confident Pathy Owner I am, I reply. " Are you kidding me? I did this trail in the summer and it was a cake walk. And now I have this Great Suspension System and new shocks. Don't worry yourself. Let me show you a little of what this baby can do." So we head home, I drop the dogs off. About to leave and the Girls pull up the Drive. I roll down the Window and Say... QUOTE. "Hey, just going to go grab a bottle of Pop at the store." Ohhhh ya. that's an Original one. Classic. I would have said I was going for smokes but I'm afraid I never picked up the habit. At any rate, We get there, we drive in, First 300m are a Breeze. Mud here, Mud there, No Biggies. Then Comes the BIG one. And it's MUCH Bigger then it was before. Mainly cause when I did it in the summer it was before the HUGE ATV event they had up here. Now the Trail was ripped to hell and this part was brutal. I'm like... "Hmmmm No biggie Check this out." Throw him in 4 Low and giver hell. Make it though this Gauntlet which also included a Huge Drainage Pipe from a Lake like swamp to my right. I get through it and he's Laughing loving it. Now, I know from memory this was the Worst part of the trail and I was happy to be past it without a problem. about 100m up past that is a Ginormous Tree laying across the trail. I of course like to go out with nothing but my love for wilderness let alone a axe or shovel soooo, I'm like... "Sh!t... Looks like the end of the line." I make a 50 Point turn and start heading back to the same Nightmare Area I just got through. What happened then you ask?.... Well. It went a little something like this. SH!T SH!T SH!T!!! God D@*N Mother F*@KIN PIECE of F*#KIN SH!T! GO GO GO!! D@#n IT. I think this is bad... I better take a look. Swampy, Sticky, Mud. No traction cause I'm too poor to afford new Rims for the Tires I freaking bought. No Winch, No Jack, Not Shovel, Not Axe, Hell not even a cell phone. Greeeeeat. I try every tactic I could think of, Tried throwing a million different things under the tires but at this point That stuff made some NICE divits I was not about to be getting them out of. Soooo, I'm like "Wait here, Going for a jog." 45 Minutes later I find some scary Red Neck with a truck and he tells me that he's gonna try and get me out. Nice Guy.... Strange... VERY STRANGE... but nice. So we head out there, He backs it up in front of my Pathy, Laughs at me for about 5 minutes and says he'll try. Hooks up a chain to my 10,000lb Rings on my Custom STEEL Tough looking Bumper. Starts pulling me. After a while we get some where And I get up on this enbankment, But things go from bad to worse. Now I'm Plateaued. Middle is stuck and in all his efforts his truck is just not getting me out. 4 ATV'er come along they try and help out. Zippo, notta Nohow. Fast forward 3 hours. It's dark, Everybody is still trying to help, My Tough Bumper I was talking about.... Bent. Piece of Sh!t. Whats the point in having a Loop that holds 10000lbs when the bumper cant handle like 4000. Grrrrr. At any rate, No luck. I lock it up, Get a ride home from this Nice Scary Red Neck who now knows where I live, and tells me He's got a friend with a tractor. Gives me his card and says call me in the morning. Sigh.... We get back, My family and Girl are looking at me like I'm a complete moron.... And I am... I wont Deny it. Sooo, We light my Cake, I make a few wishes... (Hmmm Guess what those were) And then they get up cause they have to go. LOL I suck. "I basically say... thanks for coming down. I wish I could have spent some more time with you guys..." Brutal... I think I have some sort of problem. The Wheeling Itch could not be avoided... Even on such an occasion as what it was. What I think the REAL problem here is though, is I need a friend with a damn Winch. Dowser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey.T Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Dowser, I feel your pain -bounce- Please keep in touch, we dont want to file a missing persons report saying "Last seen with Nice guy... Strange... VERY STRANGE... but nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Pickles Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 D'oh! Um, happy birthday! Looks like you'll be buying yourself a new bumper... and maybe winch. Oh, and rims for those tires. And.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sw Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 try letting down your tyres? i mean 10 or so psi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
94extreme Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 hahahahah, oh my. i just couldn't/can't quit loughing. sorry. what happened to the self deprevation (or whatever) alley? this is one for the books fo sho.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrano Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 MZ, you are reading my thoughts))) Dowser, next time don't be a ... I mean, don't behave like a.... well, do not go offroading without a camera, ok?)))) Although I know you did not feel like laughing in the process, your story was really funny You should've posted it in the self-depreciation alley))) ... and next time beware of strangers you know, those "Nice Guy.... Strange... VERY STRANGE... but nice"-type)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Precise1 Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Wow, hey, it's you Dowser !! I didn't recognise you !! For some reason, in this light, you somehow looked like shaven A$$ of dog there for a minute... Sorry it worked out like that, but use it as lesson learned ??? Tell the people to stay longer ?? Seriously, I'm sorry it was a bummer for everyone involved ! Recovery forces can easily exceed 10,000 LB force so it may not be the bumpers fault for tweaking... Sounds like you were really buried, and, um, haven't gotten it out yet ? Good luck, keep us posted, and get some damn tires !! Oh, and please keep a camera handy next time, I have this wierd disgusting desire to see the picture of the "scary Red Neck with a truck"... You owe this much to the police before they find you tied... But I digress !! Get your truck out, hope it runs, and let us know if you need help. Self-Depreciation Alley could use the story also... B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pezzy Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Hey Dower: HAPPYBIRTHDAY! Hope you get your Pathy back. That'd be a nice gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Happy Birthday Dowser!!!! Too bad about your Pathy, although, your story was a great read!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derogate Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 dowser, your stories are the best dude. Sorry about gettin stuck like that, I'm even more sorry about your bumper, I'm sure that cost you a fair bit. Here's to hoping that redneck doesn't know *exactly* where you live. lol... creepy rednecks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Filthy Luker Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 There is no better way to spend your birthday than to go wheeling and get stuck Way to go bud! -alcohol- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slick Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 I couldn't help but laugh.... sorry to hear about the skeery red neck and yer pathy getting stuck.... sounds like you had fun while it lasted! Hope nothin is broke and your pathy lvies to wheel another day... winch on the x-mas list maybe? BTW.......... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC88Pathy Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Sorry but your posts always make me laugh Dowser! Hope you can recover the pathy and have a happy birthday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dowser Posted November 21, 2005 Author Share Posted November 21, 2005 Just an Update. So today I started nice and early in hopes of getting my Rig out of the Muddy Culvert. As I mentioned yesterday, My vehicle was Plateaued on a ridge just outside of the Muddy Culvert Ditch. My Rear wheels are still in the Mud and my Front is up on the ridge. So I show up and the Red Neck that helped me yesterday call's his buddy with a tractor. We go out there, Hook up my Rig Via the Bumper once more and try and just get it up out of the mud. This Tractor was more then enough to do the job BUT.... It didn't. My vehicle just keeps bouncing in it's spot until Yes, You guessed it, My Bumper, which I found out was only attached by 2 Small tini Tiny Bolts, Breaks off. :eek: Sigh.... There Goes the Tractor riding away with the Front Bumper and Fog lights, Wiring all dragging behind in the Mud. :oops: As you can imagine, I close my eyes, Sigh Heavily and then grab a shovel that I insisted upon bringing despite the Red Necks telling me there's no need with the tractor being there. So I tell these 2 I'm going to Dig out the Bottom and we'll try again later. They both Laugh at me and tell me, "Have fun!!" then Leave. Now... By Plateaued I'm talking about having the earth beneath my Frame Up in between Every Part of Each Crossmember. Jammed and Gummed up in there so good It's all Touching my Vehicles Body Floor from front to back. It's ALL buried, Muffler, Diff, Axle, T-Bars, Everything, despite my 3" BL and 3"SL. Now, Obviously that is what I was thinking was stopping us from getting out yesterday. All I was doing was Jamming the Earth, which had a Serious Root system Higher under my frame and was incrediabley difficult to remove. Soooo, I spent all morning Digging.... and Digging and that's right. Digging some more. Then after some Digging, I decided it was time to do some Cursing. So I spent a good 15 minutes swearing my head off as loud as I could out in the Bush, swinging my shovel at the Invisible people I HATE in hopes of getting Rid of some of the Built up Frustration. After using vast amounts of Precious energy that could easily have been used in digging, I sit consider putting a For Sale "AS IS" sign on it then get back to the wonderful Art of Digging. I decide to try and make it a game. I'll see how many shovel fulls I can remove in 10 minutes and then try and beat that on the next 10 minutes. Turns out to be a real sh!tty game and I suggest no one play it even if asked by good friends. After a total of 4 hours of digging, from start to finish, I manage to get everything from underneath my Rig out. But thats not the best part. The Rooted earth was not the only thing keeping me from moving. Once I cleared most of the Ground from underneath my poor boy, I stumbled upon something SOLID. Turns out there was a Rail Road Tie that was 3/4 Buried in the ground and the last 1/4 of it was up under my ride preventing my Forward progress. There was no way of seeing this of course as it was buried and not until I began removing the earth could it be seen. :furious: NOW I see why I was having such a hard freaking time getting out. I just hope with all the tugging and pulling from the Last 2 days, it didn't do some sort of Structural damage to my Frame which with my luck it no doubt did. I live with the realization that If it wasn't for Bad Luck, I'd have no Luck at all. Soooo, I dig some more and some more until the only thing left under my ride is this damn Rail Road Tie. I can now see about 1 1/2 feet - 2 feet of it. It's not going anywhere that much is certain. It's near my Driverside rear lodged up between the Axle and the crossmember in front of the Axle. :oops: Not good. I'd like to try and Cut it off with a chain saw but I fear cutting into my Tire as its less then half and inch away from one of the sides. To make a long story short, I have left for the time being Defeated again. I stopped by the Red Neck's house on the way home and one of his 3 Crazy Dogs wanted to bite me. Big bugger's they were and it made the Red Neck Portrait complete. After he came running out of the house barefoot with no shirt on to yell at his dogs and try and prevent his dog from killing me, I asked him what his Dogs names were. He replied with, "That one there was the first one we got and we named it "Dog". That other one there pissing on your Girlfriends car we named "Pig" cause he'll eat anything. And that one over there with the old rubber boot in his mouth is "Goat"... that of course is cause he chews everything we own." I nod with approval and say, "Makes sense." obviously to appease the crazy bloke in hopes not to agrivate him that way my Girlfriend wont have to file a missing persons report. :idea: I ask him when his Farmer Friend will be able to give me another chance at getting my Boy out of the mess and he says some time later tonight. So, Now I'm back at the house taking a breather before I head back out to deal with the Rail Road Tie. What a Nightmare. pssd The worst part is this area was really not as bad as anything I even had to do at the BobCaygen run as far as difficulty, but seems to be the "Worst Jam" I've ever managed to get myself into. Sigh... Well, Time to get back at it. Dowser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9sar Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 (edited) I find myself sitting in my office anxiously awaiting the next chapter in this story... laughing my ass off and being thankful that it's not me out there with 'ol Billy-Bob Butt-Bandit and his pal. Keep an eye out behind you my friend. Leave before dark. Edited November 21, 2005 by k9sar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Only you, Adam. Only you!!!!! You poor bastard!!!! I sincerely hope nothing serious is wrong with your rig, but, as you already know, if there is....you're welcome to bring it back to my place for some fixing!!! Good luck getting her out!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pezzy Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Dower, I PMed you, but once again - I am sorry that I laughed so hard that I cried, and maybe even snorted out loud a couple times at your misfortune. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
94extreme Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 hey, try to pull it from the back. it got stuck going forward didn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slick Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 I too have been watching, reading and awaiting the next chapter too.. what a saga.. makes me tired just reading it... but like simon said.. rather you than me I'm afraid.. I would have already resorted to 1/2 a stick of dynamite and a BFH just to finish things off.... you certainly deserve a -alcohol- after all this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
94extreme Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 oh yeah, happy birthday and don't forget the camera. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9sar Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 yes yes... don't forget the camera.... just in case we determine that railroad ties are a common problem and need a sticky for how to get stuck on them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pezzy Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 (edited) DOWSER: CALL ROB's CELL... We'll come help if you need it. Edited November 21, 2005 by Pezzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pezzy Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 ok, 4:00 now got a hold of Dowser, he's meeting with the scary redneck dude & friend at 5-5:30 we told him to call us, as we'd rather drive up there than see these guys rip his truck apart by dragging it of this mutha of a railway tie... We're waiting till 6, and then calling him back. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 I'll join them, if need be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey.T Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Just go and take a Camera :gossip: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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