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My Fellow Americans...


jj big shoe
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We've all heared the rhetoric of the under-informed public saying that our gas- guzzling SUV's should be traded in for new, energy conserving hybrid electric vehicles. "They waste too much fuel" they say as they commute to work in their Prius', nearly getting blown off the road by a passing semi spilling their $5 Starbuck's latte on their khakis.

 

Well I say balderdash!

 

It's the truly patriotic American who is willing to dive deep in his or her own pockets to refuel those two ton behemoths of the road in the midst of the highest gasoline prices this country has ever seen, and I'll tell you why:

 

The Middle Eastern nations in OPEC have but one chief export, oil, which drives the economy of that entire region. Once that unrenewable resource is depleted, what will they have left to barter with in the world's economic arena?

 

Rugs and sand, that's it.

 

Once their oil is consumed by the great freedom loving, democratic Western nations of this world they won't have the resources to fund terrorist groups the Al Qaeda and Hamas, thus hurling them into financial ruin and leaving them to fight amongst themselves.

 

[PATRIOTIC MUSIC]

So belly up to the pumps, boys and girls, and have yourself a tank full 'o freedom. Don't bother tuning up the old girl or properly inflating those tires, you're only making those Hesballah-head's time of ruin further off.

That's right, load up your Pathfinder and drive down to the not-so-convenient convenience store (at least thirty miles away) with the windows down and the A/C on full blast and get the family some Slurpees. And while your there, if the cashier's name tag has three consecutive "k"s in it or a "q" that's not followed immediately by the letter "u", strike a blow for America and split his lip.

 

Thank you, and goodnight.

[/PATRIOTIC MUSIC]

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