The Drift Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 THE LARK PROGRAM A Lady liberal wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply: The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. 20016 Dear Concerned Citizen, Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quada detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time. Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it? Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember. we'll be watching. Good luck! Cordially, your friend, Don Rumsfeld Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vengeful Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 I wish.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey.T Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Problem solved thanks Don.... Now I get to hunt down this Rag head after he has raped and murdered his new host... Is there a license required??? Kills 3 birds with one stone 1. One liberal bleeding heart removed 2. Shuts the rest of them up 3. New revised hunting season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vengeful Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Are they going to issue us M-16s? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the rig Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 :oops: Ha!! That'll be the day! Anyway, to hell with liberal ignorant bipeds..... Those are the bleeding heart type of people that would never really take a stand on any matter mainly because they don't even know what the hell they really believe in.... that's why they are "open to everyone's diversity and beliefs" BLAH :oops: This country was founded with blood and with blood it will be defended and the Good Lord is the only One who can save us. IN my opinion, liberals should just move to france, since they don't seem to like violence either.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLApathy Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Bahaha, thats freaking great, good post!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey.T Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 IN my opinion, liberals should just move to france, since they don't seem to like violence either.............. Only challenge there is France's immigration laws are tough than ours..... Very good start though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Precise1 Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Ahh yes, most amusing as the farce that it is. Unfortunately, it seems to be taken as some sort of reality by the ignorant. History repeats its self... B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harbinger Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Not that I'm a bleeding heart liberal or anything -- but far to many people do see this post as reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrimGreg Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 -- but far to many people do see this post as reality. You mean THINK it's real, or WISH it was? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harbinger Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Little of both - lol -- I'm trying to say that bleeding heart liberals and terrorists aren't 100% of the problem. Come seen the violence inherant in the system! he he... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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