So after countless hours of research, i finally figured out how to do the whole thing..took me about a hour to get it out, I haven't been up to buy another yet, that's tomorrow!
1.) You have to work on jack stands no matter what... i did not remove the RF tire
2.) I had to use a 12mm wrench because I couldn't get a ratchet up there..
3.) Unclip the wiring harness clip
4.) after the starter is loose and the wiring is disconnected, solenoid should already be on top and pull it toward the front bumper with a little wiggling it will rock back till the gear teeth are showing the pull the metal gasket out slide the teeth side downward and pull/push towards the rear bumper with some wiggling it will come right out( I practiced sliding it back in a couple times so I had it down pat)
When replaced remember to clip the connector back in and screw both wires back to the solenoid and my bolt on top was longer don't mix it up!.