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Quotes that make you laugh


txpath4x4
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Alright so my Inlaws have KIA minivans that need constant repair, which I do for free of course. Well my dad said this quote and it made me laugh

" you know what you need to do? Raise the hood, jack up the radiator cap, and pull a new car under it. Then proceed to lower radiator cap!"

If you have any pertaining to anything feel free to add them!!

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"There is no way....no way you could've come from my loins".

 

-Buford T Justice

 

"You can educate ignorance but you cain't fix stupid."

 

-Me

 

 

I sense the birth of a new popular thread. . . .

Sorry, but I believe that is Ron White. :shrug:

 

Mine is "Ignorance can be cured, stupidity is the crime..."

 

B

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"I'll call you back, I'm driving through a tunnel"

 

Me on a land line (thoug I'm sure I'm not the first to use it)

 

Or calling someone on their landline and asking them where they are at

 

 

And I'm sure the "can't fix stupid" thing was well before Ron White as well, I know I used to have a shirt with the phrase on it before him and the other "rednecks" were a prescence.

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Sorry, but I believe that is Ron White. :shrug:

 

Mine is "Ignorance can be cured, stupidity is the crime..."

 

B

 

And I'm sure the "can't fix stupid" thing was well before Ron White as well, I know I used to have a shirt with the phrase on it before him and the other "rednecks" were a prescence.

 

Hey, I didn't say it was an original thought. . . that's just how I say it. And when you're in the people business all day, you see it modeled. . . continuously. Case in point, 19 year-old (just turned 19 about 3 months ago) comes into my place of business today to process to go to work. Said 19 year old is observed pulling into the parking lot in a roughly $70k Ford F-250 Platinum.

 

Can a 19-year old need a big diesel truck? Yes, in this industry, travelling and pulling a trailer is par for the course.

 

Can a 19-year old afford a $70k truck? Define "afford. . . . "

 

To me, that's ignorance - hopefully in a few years, if he's going to make his living in a business subject to repeated layoff, he'll learn to plan for the lean times. A mentor will probably teach him some of the tricks of the trade too. It'll hurt to get there, but in order to survive he'll have to learn. Ignorance can be educated.

 

Same guy comes back to my office needing to be rescheduled for entry classes for the facility he'll go to work in. The reason? He failed 3 of 4 classes required. These are classes where, if you simply pay attention, you will pass. They are not meant to weed anyone out, they literally are intended to educate. The result? He will be delayed one extra day, therefore no time-and-a-half OT this week, and how can you fail a class that you will pass if you merely stay awake through it? And, that's only if he actually passes! One of them is a two-time max, so if he fails again he won't be able to enter the facility, so he'll jump back into that $70k truck and buy diesel all the way home to three states away. Because he couldn't stay focused for 45 minutes at a time.

 

To me, that is stupid, and much less likely to be fixed. I've seen it before, he'll storm out of here and drive off in a rage because we "cut him out of a job." Human nature - which always likes to blame someone else - is impossible for anyone else to educate or fix. Sometimes through intense pain and repeatedly bashing our heads against the same wall, we can avoid some of our own stupidity, but some people will be defined by it for their entire lives. "What could've been. . . "

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That makes you laugh? Then I have another one for you...

 

"It'll be the last place you look!"

 

@linewar; You are just a mean, jealous cube jocky! :tongue:

Along your own lines...

 

If you could kick the person in the pants who is responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn't sit for a month!

 

-Theodore Roosevelt

 

B

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Hen something is beig stubborn I'm working on and down one asks how I'm doing I tend to mumble "it is but mere machine, I am man. We made them... I will win"

 

or a long breath of incoherent cursing that on more than one occasion someone in ears reach sai I remind them of the dad from A Christmas Story... something about weaving a tapistry of profanity :shrug:

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  • 3 weeks later...

Some of my favorites:

 

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

 

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

 

That dude is nuttier than a squirrel turd!

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I work in a cubicle farm, dealing with computers all day. Well, actually, dealing with people who don't know how to use computers... :D

 

I have this sign at my desk:

 

"Comparing information to knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

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