"Alcoholic"

[silverlion]

Ever since I moved to Oregon near my wife's mother, I get harrassed about my drinking. I have maybe 3 beers a day during the week and a 12 pack or so on the weekend. In Texas, I was a 12 pack a day kind of guy. I never got any $hit about it then, why now? I am a very mellow, never violent drink and do not get drunk very often. I make it a rule to not drink and drive (unless I have a beer or two at an eatery) and I do not drink and wheel.

They say, if your family brings the drinking issue up all the time, you are an alcoholic. I don't believe that. I have gone weeks without drinking and never feel like I need a drink. I drink because I enjoy beer and it is cheaper than Coca-cola. I find it nice to have a couple after work to wind down in the evenings.

What are your opinions/ suggestions/ stories?

[laxman0324]

I think it depends on how far 3 beers gets you...3 beers gives me a slight buzz, but nothing close to belligerent or obnoxious, so i would say no

[silverlion]

It's usually 3 beers from 4 pm to 9 pm. No buzz. Just like to have a few beers. On the weekend I sometimes drink a 12 pac or more. About a beer an hour or so. Once in a great while we will go out (wife and I) and I'll kill a pitcher in 3 hours, call the cab and go home.

[89_trailboss]

I will not drink 2 days in a row. somethig i heard about. if you can do it, you wont turn into an alcoholic apparently.

 

3 beers a day is kinda interesting IMO. but then again ill finish a 12 and then some both friday and sat nights and it seems like I do it every weekend(ok, it is everyweekend ya ya, its 2 days in a row lol). I dont drink through out the week tho.

[mws]

Everyone's opinion is different. The one that really matters is yours, closely followed by your loved ones.

 

Here's a different perspective... Are you an addictive personality, or a non-addictive personality?

 

If you haven't heard that term, think about all the friends you've known.

Some people seem to get "hooked" on anything and everything they find pleasurable and go wayyyyy overboard. They smoked dope once, and then were smoking it 3 times a day for years.... Give them a prescription for any kind of legal pain killer, sedative, or whatever, and they will take every last one and continue to say the condition is still there and they will try to get more.

Then there are those that take as little as possible. They have thrown away at least half of every prescription they've been given. They smoked for a year and then quit because a new partner didn't like it. They snorted coke - a few times, but could take it or leave it. Dropped X or acid a couple times. Hey, that was fun, but don't need to do it again. They would have to be forced to accept morphine if in severe pain...

 

Most of us are in between somewhere. Analyze yourself.

 

If your past indicates you have a somewhat addictive personality, your behavior would indicate you ARE at risk. If your past indicates you are absolutely a non-addictive type, then far less.

 

It's when you feel you NEED it, or CRAVE it so much that you will do things you'd wish you hadn't to get it, then be careful.

And if you will put your health, family, loved ones, job at risk - BIG warning.

If you violate trust, respect, honesty with others, warning.

[daftpup]

Well. I guess it depends how you define alcoholic. It seems like the definition of the word has broadened considerably from what I remembered alcoholic to mean when I was a kid.

To me it still means someone who gets polluted every day. I think many people have drinking problems but aren't alcoholics.

 

My alcohol consumption is prolly higher than average but I certainly don't drink everyday. Occasionally i will fall into a bottle and have trouble getting out but it doesn't happen often.

That's likely my biggest problem is that I prefer rum to beer unless it's hot outside.

[Kittamaru]

No, you are not an alcoholic.

 

My father is an alcoholic... and he lies about it, tries to hide his stash, and become iritable and physically abusive... to the point where I simply moved out because we had already come to blows over it (or rather, I locked him in the house while my mom took my little brother and left). I moved out because, had I stayed there and he pulled a dumbass stunt like that again, I'd have killed him for putting my little brother though it.

[GrimGreg]

I have maybe 3 beers a day during the week and a 12 pack or so on the weekend.

 

I'm on about the same intake, though my 3 a night is about every other night or so, sometimes nightly, but other times not at all.

[StatutoryApe]

Everyone's opinion is different. The one that really matters is yours, closely followed by your loved ones.

 

Here's a different perspective... Are you an addictive personality, or a non-addictive personality?

 

If you haven't heard that term, think about all the friends you've known.

Some people seem to get "hooked" on anything and everything they find pleasurable and go wayyyyy overboard. They smoked dope once, and then were smoking it 3 times a day for years.... Give them a prescription for any kind of legal pain killer, sedative, or whatever, and they will take every last one and continue to say the condition is still there and they will try to get more.

Then there are those that take as little as possible. They have thrown away at least half of every prescription they've been given. They smoked for a year and then quit because a new partner didn't like it. They snorted coke - a few times, but could take it or leave it. Dropped X or acid a couple times. Hey, that was fun, but don't need to do it again. They would have to be forced to accept morphine if in severe pain...

 

Most of us are in between somewhere. Analyze yourself.

 

If your past indicates you have a somewhat addictive personality, your behavior would indicate you ARE at risk. If your past indicates you are absolutely a non-addictive type, then far less.

 

It's when you feel you NEED it, or CRAVE it so much that you will do things you'd wish you hadn't to get it, then be careful.

And if you will put your health, family, loved ones, job at risk - BIG warning.

If you violate trust, respect, honesty with others, warning.

 

just follow this advice/self-diagnosis

[FUELER]

my fridge

 

 

 

i drink because i am sad, and i am sad because i drink.

 

(just kidding!)

[silverlion]

my fridge

 

 

 

i drink because i am sad, and i am sad because i drink.

 

(just kidding!)

 

 

 

 

At least you have variety.

[FUELER]

Top shelf, i got Becks 24's, Corona, and Lowca.

 

The other beers you see are special imported from Poland for me, thats why you probably wont recognize them,

 

but thats over $100 worth of beer right there in that photo!

[MY1PATH]

diffeant location differant cultures, I ran out of no-alcholic beverages last weekend and was thirsty so I just started drinkin mikes (had case sittin arround 4 a while) I went thru a couple of 'em an thought nothing of it. I think your not an alcholic.

[silverlion]

I don't think I am either. I just had to question it. The wife has me up in arms, with her mom and aunt's influence. They came from a family with domestic violence due to alcoholism.

[unccpathfinder]

I'll give you one piece of advice...start reading what mainstream classifies an alcoholic as...my gf started taht BS when we were trying to work things out calling me an alcoholic (her dad was a true alchy and still is along with a user) but in college I was probably on the verge of it but I don't really think i as (i could polish off a case each day for Thurs-Sat not that i did it every weekend but it happened sometimes) and this was with her and no issues except for a couple arguments

 

I get to CA and if i crack a beer i'm an alcoholic and currently if I drink more than 4 "I'm an ass" but I have talked to about 20 people including her close friends and they're calling her full of @!*%...but anyways back to what i was saying...read what all the BS about diagnosing an alcoholic says b/c I did a lot of "alcoholics in denial" IE pointing out that she drinks more frequently than I do and a lot of times it was higher quantity but I didnt consider her an alcoholic...

 

My neighbor and his gf go through a good bit of alcohol every night but they both go to work on time and don't fight and it doesnt seem to be a problem to them and to me its not a problem...I have noticed that he has cut back in the past 2 weeks b/c his son said "dad I think you drink a lot"

 

My buddies dad who I call dad b/c he was more of a dad to me than mine was, was an alcoholic and his son, my buddy is close to it...my buddies dad would drink a 12pk + a night during the week and more on the weekends...he was rarely mean or belligerent (that i remember anyways) but he and his wife had issues with their marriage b/c of it. He was probably like this for a good 10 years. He has now been sober (from drinking) for probably 3-4 years. It got to the point that when he drank 1 beer he wanted to drink 12 and with the meds (high end painkillers from his shoulder injuries/surgeries) he is on he can't do that so he just one day quit cold turkey on the drinking and now has been trying to help his son quit...

 

But yea I think its up to the individual and the relationship they have with the ones around them. Growing up my family did not drink a whole lot so I wasn't influenced there. I do drink to get a buzz if I'm playing video games when I'm playing my friends across the country and I dont consider that "drinking alone" which some do. I think if you drink to drown the pain/sorrows is alcoholism and if I'm having a bad day I typically don't drink unless it was just some bull@!*% at work and then i'll grab a couple beers and vent to my co-worker and its all good...

 

I would talk with the wife and if it wasnt an issue in texas and it is now then you guys have to work that out...

 

Good luck and I wouldnt consider you an alcoholic from what i've read

 

I don't think I am either. I just had to question it. The wife has me up in arms, with her mom and aunt's influence. They came from a family with domestic violence due to alcoholism.

 

yea dating the ex for almost 4 years and that didnt come out until 3 months ago...and she compared me to her dad which was violent and still is and snapped on me a couple times and i had to put him in his place...but she as well is getting "he's a drunk and a bad person" from her mom...

Edited October 2, 2008 by unccpathfinder

[silverlion]

Thank you all for the input. At least I made a good choice by joining the NPORA. This is a damn good group of people. Thanks again!

[Pezzy]

I'll drink to that!

 

Personally I think a lot of it has to do with one's dependence on alcohol. Can you have a good time without a beer??

 

I don't think 3 beers on a week night is a lot... although every night of the week seems like quite a bit. (I can afford a habit like that lol).

 

I also think the way the alcohol effects you makes a difference too... a happy drunk isn't typically an issue... but if your habits are harming others, it's time to think about what you are doing.

[FUELER]

remember , u only live once....

 

just try not to overdo it (sounds like your girl is just giving you a hard time for no good reason - girls do that)

Edited October 2, 2008 by FUELER

[silverlion]

Even when I am wasted(which is few and far between), I am happy-go-lucky. The exception is tequilla, 10 feet tall and bullet proof. I tend to shy away from that sh!t!!

[MY1PATH]

Even when I am wasted(which is few and far between), I am happy-go-lucky. The exception is tequilla, 10 feet tall and bullet proof. I tend to shy away from that sh!t!!

blech tequila!

ohyeah tequila lol

I only drink "blue aguave" tequilas. they hit harder and faster but the taste is much more refined. And the hole in your pocket is allot deeper after buying a $45+ handformed bottle or Patron silver or Don Equerdo. the awareness of $$$ is what slowed down my drinking habbit. guess I can't be an alcholic if I cut back so I can spend more on my pathy...

hope I don't become a pathfinderholic.

[dagwoodzz]

It probably has a lot to do with the people you are around. My dad's a pitiful alcoholic, and my mom is convinced it's hereditary. She's pretty much fanatical about not drinking.

 

If it affects your health, relationships, or employment and you can't do without even one day...

 

Some self examination might be needed.

[02silverpathy]

That I know of, no one knew that I enjoyed a shot of Ameretto in the AM or on lunch from work, on a semi-regular basis. This relaxed me and made me feel--warm and fuzzy Lol.

Then for several days in a row I did not have time to do this and it all ended---Alchy? Most would say yes, though I drink nothing at any other time.

 

...definitions for "other" people are in our human nature. B has it down, its all about your personality:

 

Additctive or Not

circle one

 

I love ice cream, but am not tremendously over weight so no one sees this as a problem--they just say oh he loves ice cream or just give him some ice cream he'll fix your car...we are all strange just a little like that! Pics with your truck and your kids shows me a lot of what I need to know!

[5523Pathfinder]

If it affects your health, relationships, or employment and you can't do without even one day...

I think thats pretty much wraps it up in my opinion. If your girls is truely worried about you though, maybe cutting back a bit wouldnt hurt. Like what I quoted from Dagg, it sounds like it may be affecting your relationship.

I grew up around beer and wine drinkers. I enjoy beer to this day, but not always on a nightly basis. But I have got pretty shnockerd once and a while. Some around here may remember my drunkin painting night. Yeah, that went well....

[FUELER]

i have a buddy in the mortgage biz....

 

if you go to his work place at 6am, you might find him sitting in his car, already drinking hard alcohol at 6AM. by himself.

 

but he is good at what he does and he still breaks bread. He has trouble selling when he is sober.

 

alcoholic or no?

[mws]

I don't think I am either. I just had to question it. The wife has me up in arms, with her mom and aunt's influence. They came from a family with domestic violence due to alcoholism.

 

 

What you say here is very important and something to be sensitive to. Domestic violence leaves deep emotional scars, and they are always going to be on the alert to protect their loved ones to assure they never, ever have to be exposed to it. That is one of the side effects of love.

 

Assuming you have never done anything to indicate that you are someone who could protentially endanger their child, then their fears are misplaced. As they continue to get to know and love you, the fears will diminish.

 

The fact of the matter is, it is not the alcohol that makes a person abusive.

It is an abusive person that uses alcohol as their excuse.

 

But they have not made that connection yet. From the way you worded your sentence, maybe the entire family has not? May be something for you all to talk about.

 

So, what do I have for you personally?

- Be thankful she has that protection net. Security is the single most critical human need. Your wife has lots, that is a good thing.

 

And one bit of advice: It would be in your best interest to try to understand and respect their fears. They are humans, with human limitations. Help them manage their fears, and they will respect, trust, and love you more.

Edited October 3, 2008 by mws